Phasma

Next week sees the release of STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS and everyone is losing their damn minds over it. We want to feed that excitement by giving you a few movies that you should watch in the next ten days…

In no particular order (okay, it’s alphabetical)…

There may be an instance or two of questionable language

ATTACK THE BLOCK – 2011

(dir. Joe Cornish)

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The first face we saw from THE FORCE AWAKENS was the face of John Boyega as Finn popping up into frame on a desert planet. While ATTACK THE BLOCK doesn’t do much frame popping and there are no desert planets, John Boyega’s face does get to hang out in frame a bunch. This is a cool little action/sci-fi/horror flick that has some sweet looking alien creatures with massive fang teeth! What more could you possibly want? This is the kind of movie that really puts something like JURASSIC WORLD to shame.

EX MACHINA – 2015

(dir. Alex Garland)

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Science fiction! Robots! Oscar Isaac! Domhnall Gleeson! 2015! EX MACHINA is almost just like STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS! It’s actually nothing like it though, but you should still watch it. It’s one of those movies where they sneak deep insights about life, mortality, and creation into a nifty little sci-fi package. Truly a wonder to behold. The movie also boasts a revelatory performance from Alicia Vikander, who is so good in it that you’ll wish she was in STAR WARS too! This movie is also a lot better than JURASSIC WORLD.

INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS – 2013

(dir. Ethan & Joel Coen)

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Here’s another one with Oscar Isaac! Gosh, we sure do love that fella over here at Filmthusiast. He just brings it every time, you know? In this movie he plays a sing-song man who has a hard time getting out of his own way. He’s so relatable! He also has a scene where he sings a song with Adam Driver… Who is also in the new Star Wars movie! It’s almost like they planned this in advance! It’s crazy. This movie makes JURASSIC WORLD look like your landlady’s socks that she accidentally left in the dryer. Just disgusting.

KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE – 2015

(dir. Matthew Vaughn)

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I don’t know if you can tell, but there is a theme to this list. It’s pretty much just movies that feature people who are in the new Star Wars movie. Seems like a great way to celebrate and get prepared for the new movie! This one has Mark Hamill. He looks so different! It’s almost like he’s lived a life and had a family, a wealth of experiences, and has gone through the ups and downs of a complicated human life! Crazy! Besides Luke Skywalker playing a disheveled British scientist, this movie has a bunch of neat stuff. There is even a massive one-take fight scene in a church that the movie is never able to top because they made it too freaking cool. JURASSIC WORLD could have learned a thing or two from this movie.

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD – 2015

(dir. George Miller)

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Whoa! What a movie! This is one of the all-time great action movies and it only came out a few months ago. It, just like the new Star Wars, is a lose sequel to a movie franchise that started in the late 1970s. Hopefully THE FORCE AWAKENS copies FURY ROAD by being so amazing that your eyeballs constantly threaten to jump off your face because you’re overloading them with glorious, action-packed imagery. I don’t think anyone from the new Star Wars is in this, but whatever. It’s great. JURASSIC WORLD wishes it was a tumor on one of the War Boy’s necks. At least then it would have been a part of quality entertainment.

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK – 

(dir. Steven Spielberg)

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The grand-daddy action/adventure movie of our time. All other movies bow down before RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK and swear a blood oath that they will always remember that they are a fraction as cool as it. Just tremendous filmmaking in this one. Harrison Ford is great. John Rhys-Davies is great. The snakes are great. That boulder is great. The grass? Amazing. The trees? Never been better. Everyone is just at the peak of their abilities in this one. It’s a testament of what you can do when you put down that booze and think about your life choices for more than half-an-hour. It’s the kind of movie that makes JURASSIC WORLD go to bed at night crying because it knows that no one really likes it, that things will never get better for it, and that it will almost definitely die alone.

STAR TREK – 2009

(dir. J.J. Abrams)

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The prequel to STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS. It tells the story of a young man who must come to terms with his past and trek into the stars. Once he treks to the stars, he starts to notice that there are wars happening. This greatly upsets the young man because he likes treks more than wars. He calls his friends up to space to talk with them about what to do about all these wars happening in the middle of his trekking and they just don’t know what to do. There are flashing lights, the guy who played Hulk that one time, and a Beastie Boys song. It’s everything you could want from a Star Trek Wars movie. It’s great and the guy who made it is coming back for the sequel, STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS. So exciting! And JURASSIC WORLD can fuck itself.

STAR WARS – 1977

(dir. George Lucas)

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This movie is pretty much just filler for this list as it doesn’t really have anything to do with the hotly anticipated upcoming movie. It’s a nice little movie about a farmer and a scoundrel teaming up to save a princess. I would have liked for there to have been more space vampires and ninja turtles, but I guess you can’t have everything. Really though, imagine a space vampire had been on the Falcon and just started killing everyone while they were on their way to the Death Star! The movie would have been way better than JURASSIC WORLD had they just mustered up a little more creativity and a space vampire…

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